On Feeling the Spirit

As I think about my beliefs over the years, I recognize a big shift in terms of my beliefs about the Holy Ghost or the Spirit. I think often in my past, I confused strong feelings with the Holy Ghost. And after all, don't we talk about the 'burning in the bosom?' Discerning what is from God and what what comes from feelings or emotions can be very difficult. One of the things that has helped me better discern is recognizing that "the Holy Ghost has no other effect than pure intelligence" (Joseph Smith, TPJS, p. 149).

D&C 50:21 says, "He that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth." I think it is interesting that here the Spirit is called the "Spirit of truth." It reminds me of D&C 93:36: "The glory of God is intelligence, in other words light and truth." Truth can be communicated to our hearts and minds. And that is what, in my experience, the Spirit does. It communicates truth to heart and mind.

Our minds can interfere with our ability to receive the Spirit of truth. We might be like those Paul described who were "ever learning but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth" (2 Tim. 3:7). 

Our hearts can also interfere with our ability to receive or recognize the Spirit. A whole theater full of people can all be moved to tears at exactly the same moment. How does that happen? The music, the lighting, the words, the story all come together in a way that we all feel something at the same time. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I love movies that evoke strong emotion in me. But certainly I wouldn't think that was the Spirit. But the same thing can happen in our worship experiences or from hearing an inspiring message.

Our feelings are important, but they should not be our guides. I think it's also interesting that in the vision of the Tree of Life, Nephi explained that his father "also saw other multitudes feeling their way towards that great and spacious building." 

We need knowledge, actual light and truth from heaven to guide us. Joseph Smith said, "A man is saved no faster than he gets knowledge, for if he does not get knowledge, he will be brought into captivity by some evil power in the other world, as evil spirits will have more knowledge, and consequently more power than many men who are on the earth. Hence it needs revelation to assist us, and give us knowledge of the things of God."

In past years I always thought the Spirit brought feelings of peace. And, of course, it often does. But what about those times when the Spirit testifies of our need to repent? Does that bring a feeling of peace? It doesn't for me. Sometimes the Spirit's message contradicts something I believe deeply. And it takes a long time for me to soften to the point where I can even consider the message. So now I don't ask the question, "Do I feel peace when I hear this message," but instead, "Is there light and truth in this message?" That question leads me to study it out, search the scriptures, and then eventually to my knees. 

The Truth Makes You Feel Good, Right?

Several years ago, my husband was reading some books by Denver Snuffer and shared some of the things he'd read about the Second Comforter with me, which made a lot of sense and really helped me understand the scriptures better. But he also shared some of Denver's criticisms about the church and how the church was essentially off course. I argued with my husband that if Denver had truly been given a message from God it would be positive, uplifting and full of love and charity. My husband considered everything I said and then calmly opened the scriptures. I don't recall exactly which passage he shared, but I remember it was Alma speaking. It might have been this passage:

"O ye workers of iniquity; ye that are puffed up in the vain things of the world, ye that have professed to have known the ways of righteousness nevertheless have gone astray, as sheep having no shepherd, notwithstanding a shepherd hath called after you and is still calling after you, but ye will not hearken unto his voice! ... And now if ye are not the sheep of the good shepherd, of what fold are ye? Behold, I say unto you, that the devil is your shepherd, and ye are of his fold; and now, who can deny this? Behold, I say unto you, whosoever denieth this is a liar and a child of the devil." (Alma 5:37-39)

He asked me if Alma was delivering a positive, uplifting message? If he was demonstrating love and charity?

In my last post I mentioned Samuel the Lamanite. Would I have happily embraced his message:

"But behold, your days of probation are past; ye have procrastinated the day of your salvation until it is everlastingly too late, and your destruction is made sure."

These are harsh messages, right? If you are the recipient of a message like this, I don't think you feel good after hearing it. I don't think you feel peace or joy or spiritually nourished and uplifted. You might feel angry or upset or defensive or humbled to the dust. Almost anyone would reply, like Laman and Lemuel, "Thou hast declared unto us hard things, more than we are able to bear." But Nephi reminds us, "the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center."

Samuel the Lamanite Was Talking About Me

Not long ago, our family was studying Helaman 13, and we read what Samuel the Lamanite said to the Nephites: 

"Yea, wo unto this people, because of this time which has arrived, that ye do cast out the prophets and do mock them, and cast stones at them, and do slay them, and do all manner of iniquity unto them, even as they did of old time And now when ye talk, ye say: If our days had been in the days of our fathers of old, we would not have slain the prophets; we would not have stoned them, and cast them out. Behold ye are worse than they; for as the Lord liveth, if a prophet come among you and declareth unto you the word of the Lord, which testifieth of your sins and iniquities, ye are angry with him, and cast him out and seek all manner of ways to destroy him; yea, you will say that he is a false prophet, and that he is a sinner, and of the devil, because he testifieth that your deeds are evil."

Then it continues: 

"But behold, if a man shall come among you and shall say: Do this, and there is no iniquity; do that and ye shall not suffer; yea, he will say: Walk after the pride of your own hearts; yea, walk after the pride of your eyes, and do whatsoever your heart desireth - and if a man shall come among you and say this, ye will receive him, and say that he is a prophet. Yea, ye will lift him up and ye will give unto him of your substance; ye will give unto him of your gold, and of your silver, and ye will clothe him with costly apparel; and because he speaketh flattering words unto you, and he saith that all is well, then ye will not find fault with him." 

And man, oh man, it hit me hard . . . that was me! When I first learned about Denver Snuffer, who he was, what he was saying, I felt nothing but disdain, disgust, and super intense dislike. I wanted him exposed, kicked out, rejected as an imposter. I was 100% convinced he was deceived and a deceiver. Even though I could understand the truth of a lot of what he was saying and the scriptures were coming alive because of these truths, I didn't care. The fact was that he was criticizing the church and challenging my traditions, and therefore he was wrong and not worth listening to. 

You see, Samuel the Lamanite was right about me. I always thought if I'd lived at the time of other prophets - Moses or John the Baptist, Lehi or Abinadi, or Samuel the Lamanite - that I would have recognized them instantly. I would have listened to them. But now I think that I probably would have been angry. I probably would have questioned their authority. I think I would have congratulated myself on being one of God's chosen people who didn't need to listen to these crazy men who didn't fit in.

Would I have recognized Jesus Christ as the son of God if I had lived when He came to Jerusalem? I still hope so. I hope that after hearing His message and seeing His miracles I would have known that He was the Savior. But I might have been blinded by my own traditions. I might have been offended by his words. I tend to be pretty focused on rules and if I saw him breaking the rules, would I have focused on that and ignored the rest of what He said and did? And I wonder, if I did recognize who He was, would I have had the courage to speak openly of my faith or would I have feared being laughed at and cut off by society?  

I think true messengers always look different from one another. They're unique and they come in different ways at different times. But, in my opinion, the test to recognize them is always the same in that it is always incredibly difficult.